New uniforms

We got new uniforms at the gym. Yes, I'm a fruit. Notice the proper use of the nametag. I'm all about following the employee handbook.

Technical difficulties

Cox communications really sucks!! My internet is spotty at best. Sorry about the lack of posts, but I'm still around and I have a backlog of stories to share and headlines to examine with my random twists. I appreciate your patience and understanding!!

Aaaarrgh! My internet is down

Aaaarrgh! My internet is down and that's why I haven't posted in a while. I'm sending this post via my cell. So don't worry, I'm still here.
Troy

Some Headlines

If you haven't seen Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang, put it in your Netflix queue right now. Great self-reflexive script that isn't afraid to break the fourth wall and two standout performances from Robert Downey Jr. and Val Kilmer. I'm amazed at the range of Downey Jr.'s portrayal. He goes from sarcastic deadpan to pathos effortlessly. Watch the movie and let me know what you think.

Here is James Frey's first interview since being sent to his room by Oprah about his book A Million Little Pieces.

I think I came up with this idea first.

On this date in 1937, The Hobbit was published giving Peter Jackson and countless other nerds something to do other than dating girls.

Are you Dee Dee Dee?

Check out this video.

The Devil Sells Mary Kay

Sorry I haven't posted in a couple of days. My internet was down yesterday, but I'm back and ready to bore you.

I'm actually surprised that I have the will to post in the blog. Florida State lost on Saturday to the Clemson Tigers. Some critics and fans want to blame the anemic offense due to the poor play calling of the Jeff Bowden, the Offensive Coordinator (and he is truly offensive!). But I know the real reason that the Seminoles lost. My sister-in-law Jeanne. That's a picture of her on the right. Yeah, see the impish grin? I'm sure you're wondering how this little girl could possibly stop the Florida State juggernaut. It started a year ago.

Jeanne is a Make-A-Wish Fairy. She goes to terminally ill children and grants them a wish. It all sounds good and charitable and I was down with the
program until a year ago. Jeanne had a little girl with terminal cancer that was a Clemson fan. The weekend of the game, Jeanne thought it would be nice to give her some "Beat FSU" stickers. She had some extra and stuck them all over my computer. What happened? FSU lost. She put a hex on FSU that carried over to this year. So, until Jeanne lifts the curse and FSU beats Clemson, Jeanne is the devil. It kinda sucks that my brother is married to Beezlebub and my nephew is the spawn of Satan but what can I say? FSU lost!! I hope Jeanne isn't the devil for too long. I get my Mary Kay from her.

Movie pick

Just a quick post to let everyone know that The Last Kiss opens this weekend. It's got Zach Braff, Jacinda Barrett, Casey Affleck, and Rachel Bilson. If the movie is half as good as the soundtrack it should be a classic. Here's the trailer.

Missed Sunshine

Ok, I finally saw Little Miss Sunshine. If you haven't seen this film yet, go to Fandango.com and purchase a ticket right now. I'll wait. Good. One of the unsung stars of this film is the broken down VW van that the family use to get to the Little Miss Sunshine pageant. The van is a literal representation of the dysfunctional Hoover family and is involved in some of the funniest scenes.

As I watched the VW van on the movie screen, it reminded me of my father's car when I was growing up. It was a 68 Buick Special. And it was definitely "special." It was quite a vision painted blue with a clear coat of mottled rust. The interior was also special. At some point in it's life, the roof liner decided to succumb to gravity and hung down in the center. My brothers and I would argue over who would sit in the middle of the back seat and have to hold the roof liner up so my father could see out of the rear windshield. Despite it's aesthetics, the car was mechanically sound and ran quite well. As long as my father kept gas in the tank.

One day back in 1977, when we lived on Kauai, my father loaded my brothers and I into the Buick for a trip to the store. Back then, Kauai was not the tourist island that it is today. Most of the island was undeveloped. I haven't been back to the island since we moved away, but I guarantee our house is now probably the lobby of a beachfront Hilton resort. We lived off of the main highway (main highway meaning it actually had a traffic light somewhere along it's route) and the nearest store was 10 miles away. About a mile into our trip, the Buick started too sputter and slowly came to a rest on the shoulder. After listening to a string of acidic invectives from my father, my brothers and I sat in stunned amazement. Like I mentioned before, the Buick didn't look like much, but it never broke down on us. We were even more amazed that our father wasn't going out to take a look under the hood. Isn't that what men do when the car breaks down? You curse, look under the hood and curse some more because you have no idea what you're looking at, you just want other people to think you do. But my father was just sitting there quitely pursing his lips and furrowing his brow in contemplation. Afraid to verbalize my thoughts on the situation, I tried to use the Jedi Mind trick to will my father into popping the hood and taking a peek. After what seemed like a Muscular Dystrophy Telethon length silence, my father told us all to get out of the car. I didn't realize it at the time, but my Dad never looked under the hood because he already knew what was wrong with the car. We had run out of gas. He had spent the last few minutes devising a plan out of our current dilemma. His solution? We push. The highway was on a slight grade and my Dad figured we could coast all the way down to town. So my brothers and I got in position behind the Buick while my father was behind the wheel. At my father's signal, my brothers and I began pushing the Buick. It must have been quite a sight for the other motorists. 3 small boys pushing a beat up Buick with an old man in his 50s behind the wheel yelling at us to push harder. All that was missing was the Chariots of Fire soundtrack. My brothers jumped in first and I pushed for about another 20 yards. My father finally told me to jump in and with one deft movement I jumped in and shut the door behind me. My brothers immediately started cheering me and clapping me on the shoulder. The admiration of my brothers had me feeling so euphoric that I didn't care about all the cars honking at us for rolling along at 30 mph in a 55 zone. All that mattered at that moment was that my brothers were in awe of my athletic prowess and I reveled in it. Too bad it didn't last. My exuberence ended with our arrival at the gas station. We had coasted all the way to town like my Dad said we would. But we were on the other side of road from the pumps and my Dad was forced to stop on the shoulder because of oncoming cars. Stuck again. We couldn't push the car across the street, because this time there was a slight grade going uphill into the gas station. My Dad started contemplating again. What did we do? Well, I'm afraid that's a post for anther day.

Light Reading

Remember these children's books? Me neither, but I wish they were around when I was a kid.

Video Tuesday

Hola!!

I think today will be mostly videos and pics for you to enjoy. So...enjoy!

New question for the Ninja.






This one's for all you Billy Joel fans(which includes me).

If you enjoyed the OK Go video with the treadmills, then check out this video for their song "A Million Ways." Love that choreography!!

Race Pics

Here are some pics of me running the Rock n' Roll Half Marathon.


Am I running or doing the robot? You decide.

Toon of the day

Jeffrey Brown

A Million Little Oprahs

Today is the 20th anniversary of the Oprah Winfrey Show. That's right, the show that gave us Dr. Phil, our Spirit, and something to read, aired it first national episode on September 8, 1986. You can send your complaints to the FCC.

Speaking of Oprah's Book Club. If you bought A Million Little Pieces by James Frey because you thought it was a factual memoir and not just a good read, you can get a refund from publisher Random House. If you purchased the paperback, you just have to send in the front cover. If you purchased the hardback, you must tear out page 163 and send it to Random House.

Why page 163? Here is part of the copy on page 163.

"Why are you trying to kill me?
Lincoln speaks. Quietly and calmly.
Roy?
Why are you trying to kill me?
We're not trying to kill you, Roy.
...Who is Roy?
...Are you on something, Roy?
I am not Roy!
Who are you?
My name is James Frey and I'll kill you . I'LL KILL YOU, YOU MOTHERFUCKER.
Why would you do that James?
Cause I'm a Writer. A cold blooded mercenary Writer.
James reaches into his jacket and pulls out a manuscript.
Why don't you give me the manuscript, James?
James shakes the manuscript.
This ain't no manuscript, it's a memoir. A fact based memoir!
Lincoln moves forward.
Why don't you put down the fiction, James.
Pry it from my cold dead fingers fuckface. It's a memoir! You ain't getting a fucking refund!
James. It's fiction.
I'll kill you to death till you're dead and die, you Sons of Whores. You ain't getting no refund!!!!"

Guten Tag!

Sorry I haven't posted in a couple of days. Seems like my body needed to catch up on some sleep. I actually nodded off on the shoulder press machine at the gym the other day. I wonder if some other members thought that exercising had finally killed me. I'm a little more rested now, so let's get this blog party started!!

Here's a little something for all you Madonna fans (I guess that's you John). Rupert Everett (Julia Roberts gay friend in My Best Friend's Wedding, her best movie in my humble opinion) has written an autobiography and has some interesting things to share about the Material Girl.




My favorite performance from the VMAs last week was the OK Go band performing their treadmill video live. Here's the original video if you haven't seen it yet.





Today is the anniversary of the unveiling of the sculpture David by Michelangelo. At 502 years old, he still looks good. Notice he's not circumcised?

Schoolin'

School is back in session. In observance of this fact, I give you the puppet...again!

Don't forget the extra special educational moment at the end!!

Rock n' Roll Half Marathon, we hardly knew ya!!

Sunday was the Rock n' Roll Half Marathon. It was a great experience. My time was 1:50:38. Good, but not better than my friend Laura who turned in a smoking time of 1:38:20. We had a little side bet going and I had to watch White Chicks (ugh!).

The first finisher was Kenyan woman Edna Kiplagat. When she finished the race, several witnesses saw her start dancing the running man and exclaim "Who is your DADDY?!!? 13.1, you ain't got nothing!" She then showered, where she had to run around to get wet.

It was great to see all the spectators that came out to cheer the runners on and all the volunteers who gave their time to ensure the race went smoothly.

Here are some pics.

In case you forgot my name!


Laura and Fred pre-race.

Faye and I at the finish line.
It's eaaarly!!
Tina, me, and the hardware.

That evening was the 3 Doors Down concert. My roommate Fred scored us some VIP passes so we were right up front. It was a good show. Much better than Counting Crows!!

Can't wait until next year!!!

Go Noles!!!

Hope everyone had a great Labor Day weekend!!!

I sure did!!

I love the smell of burnt ibis in the morning!!

To Insure Pornographic Rendezvous

Apparently, the Applebee's in Hutchinson, KS is the place to be a bartender. A $10,000 tip? I wonder if that was a good night for her? The funniest part of this story is what Cindy Kienow, the recipient of the tip said she was going to do with the money. "I would like to take care of my parents...but there's a Jeep I've had my eye on for awhile." Why did she even mention taking care of her parents. She comes across as an inconsiderate troglodyte. There's only one way she can correct her gaffe. Give the $10,000 tip to me.

It's Run Time!!

Ok. It's 6am and I'm here at the gym watching Ernesto dump some wind and rain on the area. The weather apparently isn't enough to keep the regulars out of the gym. I just hope this blows through by Sunday.

Sunday is the Rock n' Roll Half-Marathon. I'm sincerely amped!! After days of training(4), I will finally see if I can achieve my goal of not puking by mile 2. Here is a map of the course if you want to come and watch me pass out.
The race starts at 7am. I hope to see some of you at the race or at the festivities following the race. I will definitely see Joan Jett and I will be in the VIP tent for the 3 Doors Down Concert.