I love jerky!! Beef, turkey, pork, Bambi. If it's dried protein I'll eat it.
This love derives from my Mom's cooking. She has the uncanny ability to cook all the moisture out of food. So my love of jerky is probably more of a survival reflex than any real fondness.
Since I don't live with my Mother, I usually I have to buy my jerky in a bag. For some reason jerky is not cheap. It's cheaper to buy the actual meat. That doesn't make sense. Jerky is meat minus the water. It should be cheaper. But I digress. Because jerky is fairly expensive, I'm always looking for a deal.
A couple of days ago I was perusing the shelves at the CVS pharmacy and came across a small display of beef jerky on sale for $2.50. I thought "awesome!" Jerky is usually twice that amount. So I bought a few bags and left the store feeling smug about my thrifty purchase.
On my lunch break I opened one of the bags of jerky and began eating. As I chewed the dried strips of meaty goodness, I pleasantly noticed that it wasn't as stringy as some jerky brands I've tried before. It also had a sweeter flavor than most jerkys. Now I really felt good about this jerky. Cheap and it tasted good. I looked at the bag to find out the brand.
The bag was marked with "Hartz" and I thought to myself "isn't that a brand of flea collar?" Then I noticed the dog silhouette and the text to the right of it.
"Dog Treats."
Ok, so...I had been enjoying dog food. No big deal.
It's not like I've never had some Skippy dog food before. That stuff tastes just like corned beef hash. I was a little concerned by the disclaimer on the back of the bag.
"NOT FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION."
Still tasted good. I was beginning to feel a little quesy. But that was probably residual nausea from Pierce Brosnan's singing in Mamma Mia which I had seen the night before.
So I finished the bag.
Still tasted good.
Grim.
Groovy.
