Catch the Silver Wave

There's a new trailer out for The Fantastic Four: The Rise of the Silver Surfer. The trailer looks good which means the movie will suck a bag full of lemons. If this movie came out a year before the first Fantastic Four movie, I would be pitching a tent and a port-a-potty in front of the movie theater as soon as I saw this trailer. Now, I'm a fan of the Fantastic Four. I've read a lot of the comic books and watched the Hanna-Barbara animated series. And the Silver Surfer? I've been sporting major wood for the teflon skinned boarder since I first read Fantastic Four #48. Since then, I've read every comic that his shiny head appears in. You might be asking yourself what has happened since then to not make me want to watch this movie. It's simple really. The first Fantastic Four movie came out. Initially, I was excited that a major studio was going to do the movie and make everyone forget the piece of crap film that Roger Corman made in 1994.

The cast of the original film.

As the casting choices for the leads were announced, I wasn't too concerned that I hadn't really heard of any of the male leads. I had seen Michael Chiklis, who plays the Thing, but he was going to be covered in orange rocks, so it didn't really matter who they stuck in the suit as long as he could deliver a damn good "It's clobberin' time! Then it was announced that Jessica Alba was going to be The Invisible Girl. My fanboy excitement meter went through the roof. Never mind that in the comics, the Invisible Girl is a blond caucasian. I mean if short ass Michael Keaton can be Batman, than bring on the Latino luscious Alba. So, I eagerly awaited opening day and when it finally came, purchased my ticket and sat my asian butt down for what I thought was going to be 2 hours of geek nirvana. All I got was sick to my stomach. 20th Century Fox had screwed this movie worse than Marsellus Wallace in Pulp Fiction. Even Jessica Alba stripping naked(even though she was invisible) couldn't save this film. I wanted to find every copy of this movie and toss it down a cold, dark abyss. So I won't be seeing The Rise of The Silver Surfer(what a lame subtitle). Maybe I'll watch it on DVD. But only because Jessica Alba gives me a "rise."