Snake Fiction

If any of you are unfamiliar with the internet phenomenon that is Snakes On a Plane, read this story which chronicles the amazing fan base of a movie that no one has seen yet!

I definitely have an interest in seeing this movie. Mostly because of the Samuel L. Jackson factor. He seems like a bad-ass in this film, and nobody does bad-ass better than Samuel L. Jackson. Here is an exclusive transcript of some dialogue from Snakes On a Plane between Jackson's character and another passenger.

Jules: What does an Inland Taipan snake look like?
Brett: What?
Jules: What country you from?
Brett: What?
Jules: What ain't no country I ever heard of! They speak English in What?
Brett: What?
Jules: ENGLISH, MOTHERFUCKER! DO-YOU-SPEAK-IT?
Brett: Yes!
Jules: Then you know what I'm saying!
Brett: Yes!
Jules: Describe what an Inland Taipan snake looks like!
Brett: What, I-?
Jules: [pointing his gun] Say what again. SAY WHAT AGAIN. I dare you, I double dare you, motherfucker. Say what one more goddamn time.
Brett: It's brown or olive.
Jules: Go on.
Brett: It's got b-b-black markings on the head...
Jules: Does it look like a bitch?
Brett: What? [Jules shoots Brett in shoulder]
Jules: DOES THE INLAND TAIPAN SNAKE LOOK LIKE A BITCH?
Brett: No!
Jules: Then why you try to fuck it like a bitch, Brett?
Brett: I didn't.
Jules: Yes you did. Yes you did, Brett. You tried to fuck it. And the Inland Taipan snake don't like to be fucked by anybody, except Mrs. Wallace.